The Price I'll Pay
by Sion0083
Summary: When Squall decides to leave Rinoa decides to take matters into her own hands. Sometimes there's a price to pay...and if you truly love someone does it matter how big it is?


**Tally ho** again! Sion is here with another fic that is most probably laden with grammatical errors and horrid sentence fragments! So get your red markers out, folks!

Nah, but honestly I'm not too happy with this story. I think I could stand room for improvement and if you have any suggestions please feel free to leave them in that lovely reveiwing box (_nice_ suggestions, please). It's a bit angsty but there's no way I could keep writing humor (there's only so much funny in one person, ya know? .) But I'll stop rambling now and let you get on with it.

**The Price I'll Pay to Keep You**

They sat as humanly far away from each other as possible-- she by the window, he on the bed. If someone had come into the room at that moment they would have been able to _smell_ the tension and fustration.

Couples aruged. It was complete human nature; it was something that would occur more than once or twice. Yet, it seemed to Rinoa that arguemnts for them came like the seaons: every year, sometimes unpredictably, usually about the same things. Squall had even made this analogy.

This time though…this time it was personal. It was deep... it struck a cord inside her.

And maybe one cord too many.

* * *

"Squall, please, you can't leave!" she stood in front of him. He tried to step-side her but she wouldn't let him go. Not this time. He couldn't keep leaving her again. She couldn't bear it anymore.

"Damn it, Rinoa!" He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her square in her feverish brown eyes. The tears came hot and prickly; his expression was too serious.

"Squall you--"

"What do you think this is Rinoa? What did you _think_ was going to happen? Why are we having this same problem _again_? You promised me last time this wouldn't happen. You said you wouldn't do this--"

"But Squall I realized that I...I realized that...Squall I just don't think you should go. I have a bad feeling about this one. I feel...like...like you won't come back this time."

"I promised I'd come back every time, you know that. I've always said--"

"Who gives a damn about that!?" She threw her hands up and backed away from him. "Maybe that isn't enough, Squall. Maybe that doesn't really mean anything-- can you really promise me a stray bullet won't hit you in the chest and kill you? That you won't be fatally injured in an accident? Can you really sit here and _lie_ to me like that?"

"Rinoa," He came toward her calmly and sat the now shaking young woman onto the bed. He pulled her close to him and spoke straight out of his heart.

"Rinoa Heartilly, I, Squall Leonhart, your knight, hereby swear that I will come back to you in one piece. I swear to you that every battle I fight I will win for _you_. I swear that every moment I will work hard to come back—for _you_."

"You think this is funny." She said suddenly.

"No, Rinoa. I don't."

"_Yes,_ you do. You must. Making promises like that. Promises you know that could be broken by any slight---anything!"

"Look at me."

"Squall--"

"_Look_ at me." He took her chin and titled it gently but firmly toward him. Azure met brown, her knight wanted to speak to her heart.

"I promise, Rinoa. _I promise_."

His eyes were so sure. His voice was sure. Squall was a strong man, a diligent person. He was her knight, commander of Balamb Garden, admired by so many. His words just _had_ to be enough. They had to be. It was easy to believe him.

He waited until she nodded and he kissed her trembling lips. He sat with her the whole night rocking her gently, holding her tightly, trying so damn hard to let her know he loved her with all his soul.

He slept, his chest raising slowly, his heartbeat strong.

Rinoa never closed eyes. Not once. There were images playing in her head; horrific and deadly images. Scenes of carnage and death, blood and falling bodies; the bodies of thousands of SeeDs littered on the battleground. Her knight amongst them, the most ravaged of all.

No. No way in _hell_…

She'd be damned if they took him away from her. He had always did what he thought was best, and now she was going to do the same. She didn't want Squall to leave and he wasn't going to: not this time. This time she would keep one of the most precious beings in her life close tp her. She wouldn't lose someone else.

Whatever the price was.

* * *

The next morning he was preparing to leave. She had gotten up with him and helped him pack. They didn't speak much. Rinoa decided to go into the small kitchen and make them both something warm to drink. She opened the cabinets and brought out two coffee mugs. Coffee would settle their nerves (_her_ nerves). She began to put the water in the machine, filled the filter with strong smelling beans, and waited for the beverage to boil....

Until she saw the pills.

It was as if fate was setting the stage for her solution.

* * *

Squall strode in the kitchen, dressed and ready.

"You've got time, right?" she handed him the cup and watched as he cradled it in his gloved hands.

"Yeah, I do." He looked at the clock on the wall. "I've got about half an hour." He took a sip.

"Great. Mind if we just...sit here?" She took a seat at the small table. He nodded and joined her. They both sat there in silence for a few moments. She watched as Squall took sip after sip, watched his deep blue eyes, his Adam's apple taking in the drink.

"I--" His sentence was interrupted by an abrupt yawn. He blinked slowly and rubbed his eyes.

"That's," another yawn, "odd. I feel exhausted all of a sudden." His expression was slackening on his face.

"I was thinking about what you said last night, Squall." Rinoa put down her cup and took his hand.

"Rinoa--"

"I love you so much. I never want this to end, Squall. I want it to always be this way, you and me. Forever, Squall."

"Ri-"

"And I know you think so too. I know Garden is important. I know the world is counting on you. But, for once, let it just be me and you, okay? The sorceress and her knight together for…eternity. Won't you let me do that?"

There was no response. The gloved hand fell limp onto the table and the coffee cup rolled to the floor and shattered.

She smiled. His silent agreement was all she needed.

* * *

Yeah, pretty creepy, huh? It came to me and I wrote it down, don't shoot me. But please review... that I'd appreciate!

Later~Sion


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